Author: 8bitwind

“Empire Loves Their Damn Lists”

         I’ve made a list of some of the media I have consumed over the years that has stuck with me and generally changed my life for the better. This list includes albums, movies, games, and a few books. I’ve only listed one artist for some of these, but everyone involved deserves their credit. The result of their efforts was an exceptional addition to the absolute ocean that is media.

The list is mostly titles I’ve watched or read multiple times or at least can remember well. I can remember that I read John Steinbeck’s East of Eden and I absolutely loved it, but it didn’t make this list because I cannot remember much of what I read after some time had passed.

         Like the cheese, I am a white American. Unlike the cheese, I’m in my 30’s and I am male.

In no particular order: Enjoy the list!

  • The Dubliners- The Dubliners
  • Aurora- All My Demons Greeting Me As A Friend
  • Steven Spielberg- Jaws, Jurassic Park, Ready Player One
  • Stephen King- On Writing
  • Edgar Wright & Simon Pegg- Shaun of the Dead and Jessica Hynes-Spaced
  • Studio Ghibli productions- Kiki’s Delivery Service, My Neighbor Totoro
  • Jean-Pierre Jeunet- Amélie
  • Wes Anderson- The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  • Akira Kurosawa- Ikiru
  • Bob Dylan- The Times They Are A-Changin’
  • The White Stripes- Elephant
  • J.R.R Tolkien- The Hobbit
  • Valerie Faris & Jonathan Dayton- Little Miss Sunshine
  • Richard Linklater- School of Rock
  • Martin Scorsese-Taxi Driver
  • Bungie- Halo: Combat Evolved
  • Nintendo- Super Mario Bros. 3
  • Bethesda Softworks- Two Elder Scrolls games: Morrowind and Skyrim
  • Quentin Tarantino- Inglorious Bastards
  • Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner- Freakonomics
  • Malcom Gladwell- The Tipping Point
  • David Wain-Role Models

Trouble Falling Asleep

Insomnia

My heartbeat keeps me awake.
I should have been asleep hours ago.
Is this natural?
Why is my rhythm demented?
At the brink of abyss, my physiology excites
as if stranded under blinding fluorescents.
The essence of sleep is elusive
So, I stare ahead
fixed in darkness
with little promise of rest.
I must confess that this state of being is my own doing.
Caffeine, screens, lack of physical activity.
it all adds up to
an obsidian
Purgatory

Night Watch

It was a squall in the winter of 1562 in northeastern port town of Frost Point.  A ravenous wind cut through the air and the rain blew sideways over the ocean.  The soldiers were asleep in the barracks, save a few, on the ramparts of the fort who kept watch over a raging sea.  A fire burned in the guard tower and two friends sat close to the flames.

It was warm in the lookout and the soldiers sat in silence.  One dozed on the straw against the wall and the other sat at the table with a cup of hot cider, gazing out the window into the storm, the fire beside him.  The guard was content.  It was enough to be safe and dry this night, but even better to be well fed, as this detail provided.

There was an hour left on his watch, and he was sleepy, like his friend.  There he was, no home to go back to, really, no plans for when he became old, just to go wherever he was sent next.  There was peace in the land.  The last threat was 15 years ago with King Richard the Foul Mouthed, who was defeated and imprisoned.  Smugglers appeared occasionally from the new world, but that’s about as exciting as it got on this watch.  The guard fell asleep.

Fourth of July Weekend

Slice of Life

Monday           July 8, 2024                08:31

Last night before going to sleep I couldn’t help but think that I had wasted the whole four-day weekend.  I didn’t do anything different from a normal weekend.  I didn’t do anything extraordinary for fun.  I didn’t go to the beach, watch fireworks, or visit a casino.  I stayed home.  The focus of my weekend was not to relax, but to work on personal projects.  I made a new recording where I used what I learned in a recent training class.  I took a cool photograph of a tomato, I went to a thrift store, I listed some items for sale online.

I enjoy doing those things, but maybe I shouldn’t try so hard.  There is a whole lot of struggle and not a lot of moving forward.  A large part of me wishes I could do this stuff for a living.  I think it is possible, but right now I don’t see much money from it.  I enjoy the fluid lifestyle these activities could provide.  I enjoy the thrill of a good secondhand find.  I enjoy putting media together.  If I focus on how much money I made this weekend, it wasn’t really a great weekend.

            I did have some fun though.  I went out and got a coffee milkshake one morning.  I bought a copy of “Dazed and Confused” from Barnes and Nobel.  They are having a 50% off Criterion sale, I think for the whole month of July.  I had never seen this movie before, but now that I have, I understand a few more pop culture references.  If you haven’t seen this movie, it’d be a lot cooler if you did.

On the Fourth, my mom made a delicious salad.  It had cabbage, vinegar, blue cheese, grapes, and pistachios.  Another day she made juicy breaded chicken cutlets.   Then again, she made Uncle Johnny’s tomato sauce with fresh tomatoes from the garden and made a Ratatouille with it.  My sister also made some fresh salsa with tomatoes from the garden.

In reflection, the worst part of my weekend was that it had to be over.

Monday           July 15, 2024              23:01

It’s funny I wrote that I try too hard.  I bought a book last week at the Goodwill thrift store called: “The Tao of Pooh” by Benjamin Hoff.  Folded in between the pages were some relics of a previous owner: A Mega Millions ticket from the September 07, 2010 and a yellowed with age notecard with a handwritten note on it that reads:

“The surest way to become Tense, Awkward, and Confused is to develop a mind that tries too hard-one that thinks too much.  I think, therefore I am confused.”

I believe these are two separate quotes from the book determined to be valuable by a previous owner.  This card now has a place on my bookshelf.  This time help came from this chance encounter with a book.  It’s one thing to hear advice and it’s another thing to take it to heart.  For me, the idea that it is ok and likely beneficial to not try so hard kind of gives me the stamina to try harder.

Music and Me

Note: I’d like to thank everyone who liked and commented on my first post.  I wasn’t expecting so much engagement right from the start and I am grateful to you all.

Part I: Music and What it Means to Me

I don’t remember many nursery rhymes or the first music I ever heard, but I do remember the first music that I was a fan of that wasn’t a theme on a television show or at church.  I was around eight years old, and I loved the Backstreet Boys.  I’d never heard anything that sounded like that before.  That is what started me on recorded music.

Eventually, I tied a large part of my identity to the music I chose to listen to.  I still do.  I’d like to think that I’ve grown and become more sophisticated.  A distinguished arbiter of taste.  These days I feel I explore music more openly than I have in the past.  Im less concerned with wanting specific music to be a part of my identity.  However, there is no getting around it, the music you love becomes a part of you.

Discovery

I won’t love some music the first time I hear it.  As I become more familiar to certain tunes, I warm up to them.  I need to be in the right mood to receive new music.  Sometimes the most amazing piece of music shuffles on while I’m driving and it is perfect, but I might skip that same piece while listening at home.

Observation

One thing I noticed about myself was that I connected certain music to oddly specific situations based on other types of media or even their uses in the real world.  For example: I had never listened to Mariachi music outside of a Mexican restaurant.  I’d only listen to jazz at the airport, or the William Tell: Overture in a movie.  Today I try not to put music into a box, but juxtaposition is one of my favorite ways music can be used.

Live Music

I don’t go to shows.  I should probably get out more.  I’ve never been to a symphony orchestra, and I would really like to go.  My viewpoint on music mostly has to do with recordings, but the live music I have heard has impacted me. From buskers to national acts those moments are special to me.

Part II: Creating My Own Music

I received my first electric guitar as a gift from my parents for my 15th birthday.  I played because my friends played.  I learned parts to a few songs.  I stopped playing for a few years and picked it up again.  I would record a few things here and there with my computer’s built in microphone.  I took some classical guitar lessons and some theory which turned into and intro to jazz.   I didn’t stay for very long, but I did have some awesome teachers.

I always thought I could produce something great.  I had the music in me, but I couldn’t get it out.  This has proven to be a very difficult thing for me to do.  I got really into music gear a few years ago.  I began reading books and watching countless online tutorials about studio design, engineering, mixing, mastering.  In reflection, I haven’t put nearly as much effort into learning composition.  Which is the foundation to my original intention.

Conclusion:  Where It’s Going

There is so much music to be discovered and I have an appetite for new and exciting sound.  Making music is a worthwhile thing to do.  Right now, I feel a little bit burnt out creatively, but music is a part of my life’s journey.  Sometimes inspiration flows and other times it is calm.  In both states, it is exactly where it needs to be.

On Giving Up

I don’t do anything except buy books I’ll never read.  Buy instruments I’ll only play a few times.  I just scroll on social media thinking that an inspiration will strike from viewing other people’s ideas.  I want to be creative, I really do, but I can’t do anything.  I’m paralyzed by some habit of behavior.  I’m not lazy, but I don’t know what I want and I put myself through hell, even in good times.  Times are good for me.

I don’t have to write music, a book, or a screenplay.  I work an office job.  I have health insurance and a 401k.  I don’t get paid to go out and take pictures, make YouTube videos, or paint.  Do I even enjoy doing these things anymore?  At one time I did.  At one time they were satisfying, but in honesty, they’ve given me next to nothing in return lately, not even satisfaction.  One voice says I should just quit it all.  Just another failed artist.  Just give up these endeavors which were perceived as a ticket to freedom but have turned to shackles.  Another voice says to push through because maybe I’m almost there.

I love the process of it all, but frankly, I’ve got nothing to say.  Should I have something to say?  Everyone’s got something.  I’m not so sure quitting my job and moving to Thailand is the answer either.  It might work for a little while and then what?  The thing is, if I take absolutely zero action from this point for the next 30 years things will probably work out alright.  I’m not entirely satisfied with that option, but there are worse deals out there.

I’m enjoying writing this and that is a very good feeling.  I know I am going to share it.  I guess I won’t quit.  I just started a blog. lol