I don’t do anything except buy books I’ll never read. Buy instruments I’ll only play a few times. I just scroll on social media thinking that an inspiration will strike from viewing other people’s ideas. I want to be creative, I really do, but I can’t do anything. I’m paralyzed by some habit of behavior. I’m not lazy, but I don’t know what I want and I put myself through hell, even in good times. Times are good for me.
I don’t have to write music, a book, or a screenplay. I work an office job. I have health insurance and a 401k. I don’t get paid to go out and take pictures, make YouTube videos, or paint. Do I even enjoy doing these things anymore? At one time I did. At one time they were satisfying, but in honesty, they’ve given me next to nothing in return lately, not even satisfaction. One voice says I should just quit it all. Just another failed artist. Just give up these endeavors which were perceived as a ticket to freedom but have turned to shackles. Another voice says to push through because maybe I’m almost there.
I love the process of it all, but frankly, I’ve got nothing to say. Should I have something to say? Everyone’s got something. I’m not so sure quitting my job and moving to Thailand is the answer either. It might work for a little while and then what? The thing is, if I take absolutely zero action from this point for the next 30 years things will probably work out alright. I’m not entirely satisfied with that option, but there are worse deals out there.
I’m enjoying writing this and that is a very good feeling. I know I am going to share it. I guess I won’t quit. I just started a blog. lol
8-Bit Wind 
Hey!! Welcome to the blogging community… I know how you feel.. I have started things, given up on them… but then I restart… no matter how much I try I don’t seem to give up as something about that state doesn’t seem satisfying. I love the process of writing or creating too and I love that after a while of not giving up, a community is built… no matter how small. All the best and keep writing… you will end up saying something that resonates with someone out there!
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Thanks for the encouragement!
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My pleasure!
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I second Joyaa’s sentiment! Please keep going – you work definitely adds something new to the world. Looking forward to reading more from you!
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Adding something to the world. At risk of sounding selfish I never really thought of it that way. Certainly a more fulfilling perspective. Thank you!
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Change your routine if it gets boring, and have a vacation, and travel.. but don’t give up…. we all can pause and shift in different directions in our lives.
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Thanks! It isn’t such a bleak outlook after all. Sometimes it is so obvious when someone else says it.
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Not everyone is meant to be an artist, a writer, or an office worker. Doom scrolling has us comparing our uncompleted goals and dreams, and forgetting that life is a process. Find that “Thing” that you are passionate about and do it regardless of pay because you want to do it. And if that happens to be showing up at an office there is nothing wrong with that.
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Well said.
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Very, very, very well put.
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💯
Greetings from 🇪🇸
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Love this! Very well-written and interesting to read. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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